Monday, June 8, 2009

i am lost without you

its been a very tight-full of schedule week. and i felt so overwhelmed about it. i've been whining for almost half a year now that i am being lonely, and depressed with work and personal life. and that in my mind, i thought that my friends leaving me stranded alone, without the bf by my side.
but its relaxing my mind now, to know and realize that its me, who lock my self in, to be anti social,living my own life, feeling so under pressure a lot about what i so called-future, or marriage, or long term plans. i should be thankful and grateful i had the chance to enjoying my 'not-yet married' time and have a looot of "me-time" until the future come. yeah i know i need those sparks, and fire, and presence.need to be near to the one i love the most, but.. like i said to mygood friend, rhilly, one night on a chat room, and i mean it, i should have realize that, yes its true, happiness is a state of mind. yes its true, to be too hard and trying too hard for your self is not good for your heart. i do loose my mind, for the shake of my heart. i know i have been running away, and looking for my secret hiding place. i even restructured my heart and plans, without knowing it all. my state of mind is worst than ever at the moment.
so, lets have fun a lot! and cherish all the moment with gratitude :))

last week i went to bandung with my former house mate, monik and her boyfriend, iman
and meet chacha there. we stay at kitty's house. actually, we promised, baby, also our former housemate, to come for a photosession of the three of us, as she want to draw us for her upcoming drawing exhibition at galeri nasional. but, each of us have plans at saturday, but we did promise each other to meet up before midnight and meet baby at tromarama's mansion for the photosession. monic (& iman) attending her boss wedding party at boscha, the A+ editor in chief, Izabel Yahya & David. and so did kitty. she went with his relative (i dont know exactly what is their relation) Barli Asmara, the designer, and she happen to got the dress she's wearing, designed by Barli, for free.jealous!!

chacha & her boyfriend kemod, went to khemod's parent's house, and i catching my highschool bestfriend, putri, at her office, and compaying her on air, while she's still announcing pramborsweekend something till 8pm. okay, say hi to putri a.k.a cempluk a.k.a pingkan bachtiar, my big ears since highschool, my bestfriend who already catching up her dream. we've talk about it like, since highschool, that she should be an announcer, and now she's all ready proud am i supposed to be, can you imagine??

i really had a quality time with her. talking all afternoon till almost midnight, about 2 person who was born at 3rd of november, mocking each other, sharing our deepest thoughts, our wildest dream, travel plans, future, and even how to wasting time, and money, hahaha. thank you dearest putri, a very short time chat with you just made me feel alive you girl!
about 9pm-ish, iman pick me up, with monik by her side, on the navigation side, unconsious, black out, too much boozes at the party.hahaha its not even midnight. so, kitty hijack me, and we went to a small place for beer and all, called OJ's. a great time, i had. sweet & little kisses for youu kitsyy :))
arrived at home after midnight, the girls is well-rounded,and while monic enjoying her too drunk vision and vomit, me,chacha and kitty talking without even taking a breath untill morning!
and laughing each other until our belly is sick, and our eyes can barely open. oh, how i love my girlfriends!! come on girlssss...syncronizing frequencies..we have deadlines coming up..hihi X))

love love love you, girlfriends!! thank you.